


The Beret

by wifibitz



Category: Black Friday - Team StarKid, The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Sad, apotheosis, let emma and schaffer be friends 2020, sad boi hours but its the whole fic, semi canon compliant??, sis is not ok, someone please help schaffer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:15:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25256008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wifibitz/pseuds/wifibitz
Summary: Schaffer inherits John's beret
Relationships: John McNamara & Colonel Schaeffer, Xander Lee & Colonel Schaeffer
Comments: 10
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> huge thanks to arcanesupernova!!! weve been brainstorming this for like 2-3 days and shes helped me loads (ily jess)

“I knew it! I knew this was going to happen!” Schaffer yelled, kicking her chair back under her desk. Xander was standing in the doorway, staring at her as she shouldered past. 

He sighed and followed after her, saying “Helen, please, I’m sure he’s doing all he can.” She turned around sharply, grabbing her jacket and throwing it on. 

“Everything he can? Everything he  _ could have done _ would’ve been listening to me back in  _ May! _ It’s been over half a year, and guess what! I was right!” Xander sighed, not having the energy to argue. “Please, calm down, we don’t know what happened, communications are down.” 

She finished the last closure on her jacket before throwing her hands down in frustration. “I’m sure he’s fine, he’s smart enough, Lee.”

Xander put his hand on her shoulder before she could walk away. “Be safe, please,” he said, he sounded scared. 

She let him pull her into a hug, saying, “Don’t worry, we’ll be back before you know it.” She noticed the worry in his eyes. “ _ Both _ of us. You really think I’d leave him behind?” she said, half jokingly in an attempt to comfort Xander. 

“I know you wouldn’t, just… be careful,” he sighed. 

She pulled away, still lightly holding on. “This is routine for us, I’ll be back in a few hours.” He nodded in understanding and gave her a pat on the shoulder to tell her to go before turning and walking away.

Schaffer watched him go, worry starting to make its way into her head and replace the confidence she always put on. She shook it off, reminding herself things like this had happened before and turned out just fine. A bit messy, but fine. Throwing on her vest and checking her gun, she went to the helicopter and into the carnage.


	2. Chapter 2

The entire island was a mess. Death and debris covered the streets, blue goo coating nearly everything she could see. Things didn’t look good, but they weren’t nearly as bad as she’d expected. She just needed to find John. And she did.

He wasn’t facing her, thankfully, but she could see the blue seeping down the side of his neck and down into his jacket collar. She knew she couldn’t hesitate, everything must always be for the greater good. She drew her gun and pulled the trigger before she could think about it any more.

He fell on his back, facing the sky. Schaffer kept her gun out, just in case, walking slowly towards the body. She lightly kicked at his shoulder, and with no response, she put her gun away and knelt next to him, trying to keep back her tears, but to no avail.

She let herself sob. Her best friend, one of her only friends, was gone. She wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand, trying to get herself together and look away, but each time she looked down at him, the pain just worsened. Still sobbing, she cradled his face in her hand. His hat fell off, the small black beret that he always wore. 

She ignored it for the moment, pushing herself to go through his pockets, taking all his miscellaneous notes on scraps of paper, pictures, medals, anything and everything, avoiding the cavity she’d put in his chest. She took his watch off of his wrist, noticing it was his spare; there was no engraving on the back.

Reaching to take his dog tags, she ignored the gaping slit in his neck, forcing herself to look away for at least that moment, to pretend she wasn’t getting her hands dirty. She let the chain pool into her palm before putting it into one of the pockets on her vest. She pocketed the rest, her eyes finally falling onto the beret. She touched gently, picking it up and finding his stitching on the inside.  _ General John Macnamara. _

Holding back another sob, she folded it up and put it into her pocket. She looked around and saw her second a few hundred yards away, politely looking the other way. She called his name and signalled to get ready to leave. Looking back down at the general, she gave a sad smile and closed his eyes. 

She stood up and walked towards her second, not saying a word to him. Taking the hat out of her pocket once she sat down on the helicopter, clean sweep made. She fiddled with it slightly the whole way back, shoving it back in her pocket before knocking on Xander’s door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another giant thanks to arcanesupernova!! she did a good chunk of the writing for this (ily jess)


	3. Chapter 3

Xander called from the other side of the door. “Come in,” he said, tone not expecting anything. Schaffer opened the door and walked over to his desk, not saying a word. “Helen?” he asked, looking behind her as if John would be there. “Where's John?”

Schaffer started to say something, but she fell short, holding everything back as she took a shaky breath. She put her hand in her pocket and took out some of the medals. Placing them on the desk, she looked for Xander's reaction, anxious on his behalf. He looked up at her, fear in his eyes. “Helen?”

She couldn't respond. She just couldn't. She shook her head, her eyes meeting Xander's. “You don't mean- You can't- He-” he stuttered, standing up. Schaffer watched him, maintaining tense eye contact as he stood up. He grabbed her arms, slightly shaking her, saying “Please, tell me something! Tell me he's safe! Helen, please-”

She cut him off. “ _He's dead!_ ” she cried, shrugging his hands off of her arms, feeling herself recoil from the harsh tone in her own voice. She stood there, trying not to cry herself as she saw the tears well up in Xander's eyes. Moving towards him cautiously, she reached her hand up to put on his face. “I'm so sorry, Xander,” she said hoarsely, wiping away his tears with her thumb. It was all she could get herself to say and do. 

He looked for something to say, searching for words, but what was there to be said? He went silent, removing Schaffer’s hand from his face and sitting back down with resignation, eyes expressing nothing but pained shock. He stared at the medals on his desk for a second before looking back up at Schaffer. “Did you get anything else?”

She nodded quickly, taking out the notes she’d found. Reminders, lists, ideas, all fragments of his great mind reduced scraps of paper crumpled up in her hand. She let the paper fall next to the medals, choking back her tears as she caught glimpses of _him_. Xander watched them fall, unfolding them and scanning over them, letting himself weep with each word he read. Schaffer took a careful step closer to him, putting her hand on his shoulder, not only for his support, but for her own. 

“I took all I could, I wish there was more to take,” she said, barely audible. He lightly pushed her hand off of his shoulder, and she let him, letting her eyes look away from his desk and towards him, waiting for his call. 

“ _Please_ go,” he croaked, weakly gesturing to the door. 

She gave him one last touch on the shoulder before letting go. “I’ll tell you the details later, get some rest,” she said as she closed the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for these all being so short im physically unable to make chapters longer than 500 words apparently
> 
> also another thank you to arcanesupernova!! ily


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!! apologies for it being so long, i have no excuse. once again, massive shoutout to @arcanesupernova for checking this over, please check her stuff out :) enjoy

A few weeks later, the island had been cleared out. There was one lone survivor, one Emma Perkins, now Kelly Bridges. Schaffer had made friends with her, a very rare occasion. When she wasn’t chatting with Emma or doing double the paperwork and rounds, she was constantly checking up on Xander; making sure he was eating, sleeping, all that. 

One afternoon, she was just visiting Emma- Just saying what was on her mind as she held John’s hat in her lap, fussing with the brim of it. “I don’t know, I just wish Lee would take care of himself. I understand why he’s so upset, I know that, but still, it’d take a lot off my shoulders.”

Emma leaned back in her chair, letting out a quick cough and rubbing her eyes. “I mean, you’re sad too,” she pointed out. Schaffer looked up from the beret and at Emma. 

“I’m aware.” 

Emma let out a dry laugh. “I’m just saying! You have to put yourself first, I’ve learned to do that. Maybe you should too.” 

Schaffer gave a groan and buried her face in her hands. “I just wish he’d _listened_ to me. He did with almost everything else, why not this?”

Shrugging, Emma readjusted the strings on her sweatshirt and leaned back forward, putting her hand on Schaffer’s knee. “Men are stupid.”

“They’re idiots.”

“Nothing more.”

“Nothing less.”

“Eh, some of them are okay.”

“Yes, but that’s a one in a million chance. Lee is like that. Macnamara was like that. I’d say Paul was too.”

Emma smiled weakly, “Thanks. I’d like to think he was one of my few good decisions.” 

Schaffer matched her smile. “I think he was.”

Getting up, Schaffer put the beret back on. “Good talking to you, Kelly.” 

Emma gave a mock salute. “See you, colonel.” 

With that, Schaffer left the room, making sure the door was secure. Kelly was a decent person, and a good friend, that much was sure.


End file.
